Annan, Fieldside Rd

Explorer Tom Annan has a windmill with no date, which means it could be from yesterday or next year; time is slippery here. A fiddler played all night until the blades stopped turning out of pure boredom. The map is only accurate to one hundred metres, so you might miss the whole thing and blame the wind. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom “Stapleton Road” in Annan is where an axe hammer lost its job. It’s got iron tools and stone moulds, basically a prehistoric toolbox. There was a dance there that went a bit too far. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Annandale Distillery would be the guest at the wedding who drinks all the champagne and then critiques the cake. It’s got a 19th-century attitude and a farmhouse heart that just wants to nap after a long day of brewing history. You don't need a tour guide, just a good sense of humor. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Annan’s Drill Hall has been around since the first World War, giving it plenty of time to plan an elaborate escape route involving a ladder and some luck. It looks like it’s ready to bolt any second now, which adds a certain tension to just standing there looking at it. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Stapleton Tower is bringing a garden and a 19th-century country house to a medieval party. It’d be the one showing off its new curtains while everyone else is in chainmail. A bit of a posh mix for a tower house. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Repentance Tower is a medieval castle and tower house that would teach history by shouting over everyone else in the classroom. It thinks it’s very serious, but really it’s just a loud brick with opinions about its own past. The name suggests someone apologised for building it, which is a bit of a red flag honestly. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.